she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
