I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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