It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
