I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize