I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
