No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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