you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
