he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize