so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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