That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
