Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Is her dick bigger than yours?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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