She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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