You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
