I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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