question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
