Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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