What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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