Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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