So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
this is an emotional support booty call
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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