Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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