Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
