I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
