just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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