did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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