Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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