If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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