Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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