I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
