He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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