he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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