Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
