At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
