idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
