just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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