She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize
