This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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