new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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