Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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