ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
