I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize