Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
