She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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