I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize