I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
