K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
