I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
