Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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