Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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