I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
there is puke in my bra ... again
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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