Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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