she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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