I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
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