Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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