The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
