Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
