i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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