If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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