your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Terrible idea I love it
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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