Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
