I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
