How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
