My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
