There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
